Family
Return to Common Sense
April 17, 2013
Section: Culture
– Family
“Traditional marriage as the central building block prevents
behavioral problems in boys and psychological problems in girls, but single-parent
families are concentrated among blacks and the less educated while hardly
occurring at all among women with a college degree.”
“My criticism is
that the gay movement isn’t just asking for civil rights; it’s
asking for recognition and acceptance of an alternative lifestyle which I do
not believe society can condone, nor can I.”
Ronald Reagan
Philosophy
(Background, Issues, Objectives):
Marriage is the cornerstone of the
family, the ideal union of one man and one woman and the ideal environment for
childbearing and childrearing.
- The
“traditionalist” view is the legal recognition of marriage that
restricts the unions to a man and a woman.
o
The
norms of marriage apply to maximal experiential union where a couple’s
relationship is permanent, each party will share more of his or her life with
the other than if they separate, and the expectation of permanence will give
rise to a quality
of no-holding-back.
o
The
traditionalist assumes a couple is a “reproductive
unit” intrinsically valuable whether or not a couple reproduce.
o
Coitus
achieves bodily union since the kind of act that is reproductively oriented
that the relationships of infertile couples, but not those of same-sex couples,
are potentially marital.
o
The
“revisionist” understands
marriage as only a “maximal experiential union” composed of two
persons’ sharing each other’s lives.
·
The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was signed into law by Bill
Clinton in 1996.
o
Marriage is designed to nurture procreation and
child rearing.
o
The
purpose of the law was to keep states that allow gay marriage from forcing these
marriages on other states, under the Full Faith & Credit clause of the US
Constitution.
o
42 states have laws that preserve the
traditional definition of marriage, either by state constitutional amendment
and/or by statute.
o
Thirty-seven
states have their own Defense of Marriage Acts, while 32 states have
constitutional amendments protecting traditional marriage.
§ The bill also includes a definition
of “marriage”: the word `marriage’ means only a legal union
between one man and one woman as husband and wife, and the word `spouse’ refers only to a person of
the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife.
o
Marriage
has never been redefined by a referendum of the people in any state.
- Marriage is deeply rooted in all societies.
o
While the ceremony for religious and secular
marriages differs, the meaning has always been similar.
o
Marriage protects and promotes the wellbeing of
children.
- Civil Rights Act of 1963 has undermined the black family.
o By
2005 out of wedlock birth rates among blacks increased from 23.6% to nearly
70%.
§
By 2005 out of wedlock birth rates among whites
increased from 3.1% to 25.3%.
o Family
breakdown then compounded the problem by condemning children to poverty.
- Partners who cohabit with intention of marrying share many
characteristics of married people.
o Partners
who cohabit without the intention of marrying often have short relationships
with few benefits.
o Men
and women who cohabit are more likely to experience partner abuse and
infidelity.
o Parenting
role of cohabiting partner is vaguely defined, making unstable living
arrangement for children.
o 50%
of children born to cohabiting parents saw their parents
part by age 5, compared with only 15% of children born to married parents.
- In marriages partners often specialize their skills, enabling
accomplishing more as a team.
o
Research shows mothers and fathers spend equal time
on work endeavors, including paid and unpaid.
Family is the basic building block of
society.
- Rome’s great orator and statesman, Cicero, declared marriage
was the “first bond of society”
o Marriage
has been both the cornerstone and keystone of civilized societies, while sexual
promiscuity has been a corrosive, destructive force weakening a civilization.
o “Cultures
that were more sexually permissive displayed less cultural energy, creativity,
intellectual development and individualism, and a slower general cultural
ascent.”
- Married families have higher incomes.
o In
2000 government spent more than $150 billion subsidizing single parent
families.
o While
marriage may not be a cure for poverty, it does turn out to be a fairly
reliable preventative.
- Married people are more than twice as likely to be happy as
divorced or never married individuals.
o 71%
of Americans say growth in births of unwed mothers is a “big
problem.”
o 69%
of Americans think a child needs a home with both a father and a mother.
o 66%
of Americans say a single woman with children is a trend that is bad for
society.
o The
above three findings are the same regardless of age, race, and education.
- American birth rate is 2.11 births per woman, right at the
replacement level;
- Children in intact families are less likely to be depressed,
difficulty in school, behavior problems.
o Children
from homes with fathers are nine times more likely to graduate.
o 71%
of dropouts come from fatherless homes.
o 92%
of children whose families make more than $75k live with two parents.
o Only
20% of children whose families make less than $15k live with two parents.
- In 2007 40% of all American children are born outside marriage.
o Only
7% of children of mothers with college degrees are born out of wedlock.
o The
out-of-wedlock birth rate among women who drop out of high school is 15%.
o The
out-of-wedlock birth rate among African-American women is 67%.
o Boys
who are raised by single mothers are twice as likely to end up in prison by age
32.
o Girls
who are born outside of marriage are three times as likely to have a teenage
pregnancy.
o Teens
born outside of marriage are about twice as likely to drop out of high school.
- Aid to Families with Dependent Children required father leave to qualify
to receive taxpayer benefits.
Child marriage is defined as marriage carried out
below the age of 18.
- Arranged marriages can be made for toddlers and babies.
- In the developing world child marriage can occur shortly after
puberty.
- Girls living in poor households are approximately twice as likely
to marry before 18.
US divorce rate more than doubled between
1960 and 2000.
- In 2006 48% of all first marriages end in divorce.
o Wives
precipitate two-thirds to three quarters of all divorces and separations.
o Divorce
rate dropped to 16.5% (first married 1990-1994) among college graduates.
o Divorce
rate has risen to 38% (first married 1990-1994) among high school graduates.
o Divorce
rate has risen to 50% among high school dropouts.
o Many
mothers avoid divorce by never marrying in the first place.
o Unwed
childbearing rates (7%) and divorce rates (10%) for female college graduates
are low.
- Female raises 80% of all household arguments.
- Collapse of marriage is the principal cause of child poverty in the
U.S.
- Widespread divorce poisons the larger culture of marriage
(distrust, insecurity, low commitment).
The government has no role in regulating sexual activity.
·
The government role is restricted to exceptions of consanguinity
(close blood relations), use of force and victimization, commercial trafficking
of sexual favors, and exploitation of minors.
·
Those
who choose to cohabit in non-traditional relationships have ample options for
formalizing their arrangements through the private contract process, which
government enforces but does not sanction.
·
Marriage licenses exist as government recognition of the unique
procreative potential of heterosexual relationships.
o
A
failure of the procreators to act as proper guardians forces the government to
build safety-net systems for children whose parents either cannot or will not
provide for them.
o
Marriage
provides a structure for assigning responsibility for children potentially
produced by heterosexual relations.
o
It
fixes responsibility for paternity on the husband, regardless of who may have
fathered the children during a marriage.
Statistics of the fatherless family tell
a depressing story:
·
Children in single
parent households are more likely to be poor:
o
In
2002, 7.8% of children in married-couple families were living in poverty,
compared to 38.4% of children in mother-only household families.
o
During
the year before their babies were born, 43% of unmarried mothers received
welfare or food stamps, 21% received some type of housing subsidy, and 9%
received another type of government transfer (unemployment insurance etc.).
o
For
women who have another child, the proportion who receives welfare or food
stamps rises to 54%.
o
A
child with a nonresident father is 54% more likely to be poor than his or her
father.
·
Compared to peers
living with both parents, kids in single parent homes had:
o
a 77% greater risk of being
physically abused.
o
an 87% greater risk of being
harmed by physical neglect.
o
a 165% greater risk of
experiencing notable physical neglect.
o
a 74% greater risk of
suffering from emotional neglect.
o
an 80% greater risk of
suffering serious injury as a result of abuse.
o
overall, a 120% greater risk of
being endangered by some type of child.
- Crime, substance abuse,
and self-harm are more prevalent:
o
63%
of youth suicides are from fatherless homes, 5 times the average.
o
90%
of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes; 32 times the average.
o
85%
of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes; 20
times the average;
o
80%
of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes; 14 times the
average;
o
71%
of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes; 9 times the average;
o
75%
of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes;
10 times the average;
o
70%
of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes; 9 times
the average;
o
85%
of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes; 20 times
the average.
·
Children in single
parent households tend to have more behavior issues:
o
Adolescents
from single-parent families engage in greater and earlier sexual activity.
o
Fatherless
children are at much higher risk of drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness,
suicide, poor educational performance, teen pregnancy, and criminality.
o
Most
abused children come from fatherless homes; only 1/3 abused kids lived with
both biological parents.
o
50%
of child abuse cases are committed by single mothers.
o
Fatherless
children are at dramatically greater risk of suicide..
o
Fatherless
boys have much more trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender
identity.
o
80%
of youth psychiatric patients are from fatherless homes.
o
Fatherless
children are less cooperative and score lower on IQ tests.
o
Fatherless
kids exhibit significantly more conduct problems, and daughters have higher
rates of anxiety or depression.
o
“Father
hunger” often afflicts boys age 1-2 whose
fathers are suddenly and permanently absent. Sleep disturbances, nightmares/
night terrors frequently begin within one to three months after the father
leaves home.
o
Children
of never-married mothers are more than twice as likely to have been treated for
an emotional or behavioral problem.
o
Fatherless
children are more likely to have been expelled or suspended from school, to
display emotional problems, and to engage in antisocial behavior.
o
Researchers
observed “greater levels of aggression in boys from mother-only
households than from boys in mother-father households.”
o
80%
of adolescents in psychiatric hospitals come from broken homes.
o
Violent
school kids are 11 times more likely to live without their fathers and
six times more likely to have unmarried parents.
o
43%
of prison inmates are fatherless; 14% lived in households without either
biological parent; and 14% spent some of their childhood in a foster home,
agency or other juvenile institution.
o
72%
of adolescent murderers grew up without fathers; 60% of America’s rapists
grew up the same way.
o
Only
13% of juvenile delinquents come from families in which the biological mother
and father are married to each other. By contract, 33% have parents who are
either divorced or separated and 44% have parents who were never married.
o
Fatherless
teenage boys are more likely to be incarcerated for delinquent offenses and
also manifest worse conduct while incarcerated.
o
70%
of juveniles in state reform institutions grew up fatherless.
o
Fatherless
males engage in twice as much criminal activity, which triples if their
neighborhood has a high concentration of single-parent families.
Homosexuals have claimed a
“right” not supported by our Constitution.
- Only six states and the District of Columbia currently (2012) issue
marriage licenses to same-sex couples.
o
State supreme courts judicially imposed same-sex
marriage in Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Iowa.
o
In Vermont, New Hampshire, the District of
Columbia, and New York, legislative action has authorized same-sex marriage.
- Gay activists do not construe their "rights" in terms of
liberty, but in terms of radical and absolute equality.
- There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that
an individual develops heterosexual, bisexual, gay or lesbian orientation.
- Gays insist that same-sex relationships are identical to, entirely
analogous to and fungible with, traditional marriage.
- Homosexuals do recruit and half of the adult homosexuals were
seduced inter perversion before age 14.
o
For every homosexual pedophile offender about 150
boys are molested whereas about 20 girls are molested per heterosexual
pedophile offender.
- Children of homosexual couples are seven times more likely to
develop "non-heterosexual preferences" than other children.
- Life expectancy of gay men is 20 years less than heterosexual men.
- Opposition is demonized as “discrimination” and
“hate.”
A Canadian study acknowledged that gays and lesbians are at
higher risk for a number of deadly diseases and disorders that reduce the life
spans of gay and bisexual men by 20 years compared to the average man in
Canada:
- Gays and lesbians commit
suicide at a rate from twice to 13.9 times more often than the general
population.
- Homosexual smoking rates
are 1.3 to 3 times higher than the general population.
- Alcoholism rates among
homosexuals are 1.4 to 7 times higher than the general population.
- Illegal drug use is 1.6
to 19 times higher among homosexuals than the general population.
- Rates of depression are
1.8 to 3 times higher among homosexuals than the general population.
There has been a backlash in Europe
promoting traditional family definition and values.
- Strong pro-family governments have been elected in Latvia,
Slovakia, and Poland.
- World Congress of Families has been convened in 1997, 1999, 2004,
and 2006.
- The natural family has been promoted as the “Springtime of Europe and the World.”
- In 2004 Sweden found that male homosexual couples were 50% more
likely, and female couples 167% more likely, to terminate their legal
relationships than were heterosexual couples to divorce.
Experiments with same-sex marriage in
other countries have had disastrous results.
- Netherlands legalized same sex marriage for 5 years and key factor
in decline of Dutch marriage.
- Scandinavia has recently legalized same sex partnerships in
Denmark, Sweden and Norway.
o Scandinavians
view parenthood as test to see if out to get married.
- Sweden has begun move to abolish marriage and replace with gender
neutral partnerships that would recognize multiple partner unions.
Principles:
The institution of marriage itself was
not created, and thus can not be redefined, by government.
- Same-sex marriage has a goal to set aside marriage altogether as a
repressive and patriarchichal anachronism.
- Since American people have rejected same-sex marriage, the strategy
has switched to extending the Equal Rights Amendment to include marriage
“rights”
Marriage is a specific form of
kinship with specific obligations:
·
Marriage is concerned above all with female
sexuality, protecting the child bearing partner from rape, degradation, and concubinage.
·
Marriage impose a set of rules that determines not
only whom one may marry, but, more important, whom one may not marry.
·
Marriage changes the nature of sexual relations
between a man and a woman.
·
Marriage defines the end of childhood, sets a
boundary between generations within the same family and between families, and
establishes the rules in any given society for crossing those boundaries.
Ten non-religious reasons to keep marriage
traditional:
·
To reproduce, nature favors
heterosexuality, not homosexuality.
·
Nature teaches us to build the
family unit and honor gender differences.
·
The essence
of marriage is the: permanent
and exclusive covenant and union of one male and one female who consummate
their monogamous commitment by their unique sex act, which is capable (or
potentially capable) of producing a child.
·
Childless heterosexual married
couples reinforce marriage, not redefine it.
·
Traditional marriage is strong,
as is.
·
Some certainties should not be
rejected or fundamentally transformed.
·
History and democracy matter.
·
Preserving traditional marriage
is a virtue, not "homophobia"
or bigotry.
·
Upholding standards against other
redefinitions is necessary.
·
Unmarried civil union is a fair
and reasonable compromise.
Recommendations:
Defend and strengthen marriage and the
family in federal and state law and policies.
- Fund the “healthy marriage initiative” advertising
campaign promoting the benefits of marriage.
- Ease economic and other burdens on families (remove entitlement
program disincentives).
- Encourage healthy marriages through welfare reform and other social
service programs.
Embrace the ‘Culture of
Belonging” encouraging the combination of “work, wedlock, and
worship.”
- Defer to parental rights regarding the education and welfare of
minor children.
- Abolish anonymous sperm donation for biological and paternity
reasons.
Compile a Family Issues Scorecard to
grade Congress on pro-family issues.
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“Obama
to God and America: You’re Wrong About Marriage” by Robert
Knight dated March 3, 2011 published by Town Hall at http://townhall.com/columnists/robertknight/2011/03/03/obama_to_god_and_america_youre_wrong_about_marriage
.
“Two
Views of Marriage: and the Falsity of the Choice Between Them” by
Jason Lee Steorts dated April 4, 2011 published by
National Review Online at http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/263672/two-views-marriage-jason-lee-steorts
“Real
Marriage” by Sherif Girgis
dated April 5, 2011 published by National Review Online at http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/263679/real-marriage-sherif-girgis
.
“People
Without Integrity Reject Facts About Homosexuality” by Don Boys dated
January 5, 2012 published by American Prophet at http://www.americanprophet.org/People-Without-Integrity-Reject-Facts-About-Homosexuality.htm
.
“Phony
Divide Between Fiscal and Social Issues” by Phyllis Schlafly dated March 6, 2012 published by Town Hall at http://townhall.com/columnists/phyllisschlafly/2012/03/06/phony_divide_between_fiscal_and_social_issues
.
“For
Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage” by Jason DeParle and Sabrina Tavernise
dated February 17, 2012 published by The New York Times at http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/18/us/for-women-under-30-most-births-occur-outside-marriage.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
.
“Defining
Deviancy Down” by Star Parker dated March 12, 2012 published by Town
Hall at http://townhall.com/columnists/starparker/2012/03/12/defining_deviancy_down
.
“If Same Sex Marriage Is a Civil Rights Issue…” by Grant Dossetto dated May 13, 2012 published by American Thinker at http://www.americanthinker.com/2012/05/if_same_sex_marriage_is_a_civil_rights_issue.html .
“What
same-sex ‘marriage’ has done to Massachusetts” by Brian Camenker dated June 2012 published by Mass Resistance at http://www.massresistance.org/docs/marriage/effects_of_ssm_2012/index.html
“Circumventing
Citizens on Marriage: A Survey” by Dominique Ludvigson
dated October 9, 2012 published by The Heritage Foundation at http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2012/test/circumventing-citizens-on-marriage-a-survey
.
“Fathers
disappear from households across America” by Luke Rosiak
dated December 25, 2012 published by Washington Times at http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/dec/25/fathers-disappear-from-households-across-america/
.
“Ten
Non-Religious Reasons to Keep Marriage Traditional” by James Arlandson dated January 13, 2013 published by American
Thinker at http://www.americanthinker.com/2013/01/ten_non-religious_reasons_to_keep_marriage_traditional.html
.
“Is
Fatherhood Being Killed so the State Can Play God?” by Kelly
O’Connell dated February 3, 2013 published by Canada Free Press at http://www.canadafreepress.com/index.php/article/52852
.
“The
Biblical Norm for Marriage” by James Arlandson
dated February 24, 2013 published by American Thinker at http://www.americanthinker.com/2013/02/the_biblical_norm_for_marriage.html
.
“LGBTs
Can Thrive By Building Courageous Bridges” by Donna Underwood dated
March 26, 2013 published by American Thinker at http://www.americanthinker.com/2013/03/lgbts_can_thrive_by_building_courageous_bridges.html
.
“Government
should get out of the marriage business” by Edward Morrissey dated
March 26, 2013 published by The Week at http://theweek.com/bullpen/column/241862/government-should-get-out-of-the-marriage-business#
.
“The Deconstruction of Marriage” by
Daniel Greenfield dated March 28, 2013 published by Canada Free Press at http://canadafreepress.com/index.php/article/54107
.
“Family Meltdown” by Robert Samuelson
dated April 15, 2013 published by Real Clear Politics at http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2013/04/15/family_meltdown_117945.html
.